soul sold

Do I look scary without my soul?
I gave it away in return of some nicotine
I gave it away for alcohol
never belonged to me
no right answer
I was too blind to see
I was always dying
I was fucked up for 22 years with this traitor inside me
It always helped my Enemies
Never letting me free
I used to feel it at night
Craving for nicotine and alcohol like me
I used to give the it none
Ha ha ha :) nicotine is purer and expensive
And was better for the services I got in return
To burn it would have been my last wish
It wanted to see it black and high in smokes
I would have loved to see it melt
I would have loved to dance in the rain of molten soul
Then I realized the matter is grave, and I gave it instead
So it finally helped me
It helped my finally to sleep, get high and get to bed
Now I feel light With this void
And I want to feel even lighter
Thinking of letting go my heart, my veins
Im thinking of letting go my skin
Letting go everything till my nicotenious blood remains
Because I can’t die now
I got no soul
And no matter what I do
For its colour maybe a little shy
That black thing will remain here
I know souls never die.

aint it right?

who gave some1 this right to give me life

Struggling at every step

gaining pain to feel alive

striving to take air in,

why some 1 gave me this life?

 

I'm no happy no more,

and i hate to be so

can’t a sad 1 be alive?

why every 1 keeps yelling,

forcing me to buy a life?

 

its better to be dead than to be dying

its better to be SAD than to be alive

why cant i decide when to live and when to cry?

why this world gives me reason to be free?

and than asks me to try until I'm exhausted.

until the reason to try,

is to keep trying until I Die

who gave some1 this right to give me life

when I don't want to be alive?

A changed perspective

What is inside few care,

what is absent nobody knows,

and for those of you who do this is for you,

this is for you to know

sometimes you don’t speak

sometimes you are unable to

there are times when you really want to kill somebody

difference is but one,

you care for it when it begins

and I never cared till it was done.

The process humbly requested many things

and I gave everything I could,

but powerful ones this is what I perceive,

is what I got in return.

Now I don’t care about dreams,

I don’t fear outcomes,

relationships, I hate easy to make and hard to break.

Darkness I thought I love,

was the thing I feared the most

the series of recursive defeats and shadows of unknown,

are partially left, partially gone.

Now I love it,

now I know what it means

it gives me reason for being alone,

as darkness in my life

is partially left, partially gone.

stains of pain

I love you

And I need it back

As u know it’s a scarce commodity

So I might kill you for that

Don’t worry it won’t pain

As I will take all of it

And you look great with little fear in your eyes

So let it remain

I will take your blood

Your death would be plain

Your blood won’t be wasted

As clots will take life mine

Thin line between intense love and hate

I will define

Your blood will give me warmth

And will remain inside me

I could not live but I will die

With your sign

Stains of pain still red

Ones I colored them with my blood

I wanted death

But hell I got as result

burnt life

A man is burning all the time

Using air, staying alive

A man is burning all the time

Particles in and particles out

More energy to scream and shout

Into the lungs and pumped through the pipe

Throughout the body to decay and die

Forgetting, unaware, laughing and learning

Enjoying the stay while everyone else is burning

Fire here and fire there but not a spark to be felt

Fire fire all around but not a heart will melt

Using others gaining heights

To burn more they try

More sufferings, more oxidation and heart beats with better rate

Burning flashing and gazing till every unit evaporates

Till nothing is left behind to burn

Till it's late

Till anyone one has a reason to hate

Till it's late

ABOUT ME

I think the world hates me

But only few of them actually do including me

The membrane to hate around me forces me to hear and breathe the same

Pain addictions and me are the ones to blame

I don’t see love anymore anywhere

It might be presentPublish Post

Something inside me compels me to be aware

Human nature is on decline inside me

And this what you see is only a programmed interface that I wear

I wanna live

And I want this ‘I’ to be me

ONLY ME

transforming state

Trapped between past and the present

To choose between the life now or life to be- a difficult task

To live

Or to be in the present mask

Transforming into a better being

Stings of the past still pains

To complete the things remaining

Or to be in the past

About which myself I still blame

Fading of the memories

Of love and dirty hate

But since addicted to pain

Paralyzed by the state

Paralyzed by the state I’m

Some one help me to wash the stain

To stop the voice

Repeatedly calling me insane

cavity inside me 2

hi
this one is i thinka better version of my previous post "cavity inside me" which my readers think is not up to the mark as it lacks flow.
thanks to all who helped me improve
here it goes

A cavity inside me developing
Getting thrust
By the pools of pain and disgust
Trying to wash it away with even more pain
As I think it’s not futile to get wet in the paining rains

I’m alone
I need someone
I need someone to drain my thoughts
One who is neutral and plain
To consume excess blue blood and memories that still remain

Aaaaah
As I see lightning
My blood begins to boil it begins to flow
It gives me force to face the viscous air and my skin light to glow
I feel my anger controls it and although it’s beautiful you see
It destroys anything I hate and hate around me

Sun kills my thoughts and dries my skin as skies begin to clear
Color which reminds me of blue blood comes and black beauty disappears
I hate it
And I hate me
As I have lost my friend again
The rain

cavity inside me

A cavity inside me growing
with the thrust of pain and disgust
trying to wash it away with raining pains
As I spend time with my friend
Painful rains

I need someone right now
come share my pains
cry when I do
To cover the blue blood and the leftovers that remains

Lightning
lights in the dark sky
It heats my blood to boil
Passes it the energy to flow
Power to face the viscous air
and they give my skin light to glow
I control the lightning
And although it is beautiful you see
Using them I destroy anything I hate
and the hate around me

Time stops for no one
So skies begin to clear
Blue blood appears, and the black beauty diminishes
I feel like crying
Just to call you, my friend again
The rain

painful addiction

Love, I’m addicted to it
Still getting none
I crave for it and love everyone to get the same back
But suffering is what I get in return

Strange thing it is to get addicted to pain
But that’s what I’m comprised of
It outlines my life, limits it
Flowing in my veins

My life this thing drives
Being addicted to smokes
Is what makes me survives
It’s the only thing which loves and relieves my pain
Turning into ashes
And never complains

Maybe also addicted to her eyes
They give me pain
Sufferings
Feeling of guilt
And a reason to survive

in love.......................again!!!!

“Still waiting for you”
I used to say
Even when I never meant it
To make you realize I still stay

I wanted you to feel what I felt
the Guilt of atrocious crime
the Fear of unknown
the Pain I used to feel
And others, to you still not known

Suffocated I was
And wanted you to be killed by same
I wanted you to crave for fresh air whose sign on my nature still remain

My life was filled with smokes and alcohol
Quantities I never cared about
They helped me or the feelings against me ?
Is the question still in doubt

Now that I’m in love again
What to stay to her question still remains
This time my feelings not loosely held
Because of the suffocation I felt

Afraid of the past and now of future
Somebody please help
I don’t want to loose my life evolved from crap
And now I think back on the track

infinite!

Struggle to live
Struggle for life
Toil for money

Strangled in the infinite threads of struggle
Bear the pain for more
Life isn’t the way
Death is not either, they say

Exhausted by the struggle to survive
Monstrous pain makes it bitter
No better than the hell, my life
Then also to live, I choose
Because to die for only this is a lame excuse

It would be the same after death
But the game would be lost
And losing isn’t my style
I’m a Libran after all!

i cannot share the pain

Killing him was not so fine!
as He was a good frnd of mine
but I could not see him suffer
and killing him made me a bit tougher

I don’t like to share pain
And that’s how "killings" I explain
Many more I have to kill
Therefore living still
as Many are more still alive
who are Living a miserable life

One more reason on which killing is based
Is the blood’s taste
for it a life is worth to waste
They call me a killer But I cannot see the pain
After I cut his hand to taste the refreshing bloody rain
Therefore I killed him

Can you now feel the pain in your head?
By the time I will die you too will be dead
as your life too is in pain
Since you are my frnd I am killing you without any gain