in love.......................again!!!!

“Still waiting for you”
I used to say
Even when I never meant it
To make you realize I still stay

I wanted you to feel what I felt
the Guilt of atrocious crime
the Fear of unknown
the Pain I used to feel
And others, to you still not known

Suffocated I was
And wanted you to be killed by same
I wanted you to crave for fresh air whose sign on my nature still remain

My life was filled with smokes and alcohol
Quantities I never cared about
They helped me or the feelings against me ?
Is the question still in doubt

Now that I’m in love again
What to stay to her question still remains
This time my feelings not loosely held
Because of the suffocation I felt

Afraid of the past and now of future
Somebody please help
I don’t want to loose my life evolved from crap
And now I think back on the track