me against myself

drowning in my antireality
filled with brutality
anger and pain
i try to fight with myself
not allowed by the brain
the force exerted by the storm
forces me to transform
sucking out reality
no one to help
on one to cry
this storm is so dry

the guilt inside covering me now
but i dnt allow
to fight till death
whatever it takes blood or breath
but i will surely come out with myself or without
to fight your own with concious blown
to postpone your life till outof the danger zone
to win with your cards shown
to me this way is not known

but to this world ill show
with theconfidence not so low
that i will live
its me who, ill forgive

confused

Pain is being injected

but I remain infected

thinking of you again

its infection of your memory that remain

contagious it maybe

its not I who is infected but we

no treatment till now in sight

that’s why this one more sleepless night



so many days I have stayed alone

without anyone on my own I have grown

drinking pain from the time unknown



now shud I try death?

Ending all in one last breath

confused I am

but this is all what you can do in a jam

my vein tired of pain soar

but pain is inside till the core

so last option remain is to drain

free myself from the painful chain

killing him was not so fine

Killing him was not so fine
He was a good frnd of mine
I could not see him suffer
And its not that is makes me tougher
I don’t like to share pain
And that’s how I explain

Many more I have to kill
Therefore living still
Many more still alive
Living a miserable life
One more reason on which killing is based
Is the blood’s taste
Don’t worry soon he will be replaced
Talking about anything else is a waste

They call me a killer
But I cannot see the pain
After I cut his hand to taste the refreshing bloody rain
Therefore I killed him
I also hate the lights here, so dim
I had to cut seven times to get the right vein
That’s needed to minimize the pain

Now pain flooding from my own life
It’s hard to survive
Can you now feel the pain in your head?
By the time I will die you too will be dead
Your life too is in pain
Since you are my frnd I am killing you without any gain

stains of pain

I love you

And I need it back

As u know it’s a scarce commodity

So I might kill you for that

Don’t worry it won’t pain

As I will take all of it

And you look great with little fear in your eyes

So let it remain

I will take your blood

Your death would be plain

Your blood won’t be wasted

As clots will take life mine

Thin line between intense love and hate

I will define

Your blood will give me warmth

And will remain inside me

I could not live but I will die

With your sign

Stains of pain still red

Ones I colored them with my blood

I wanted death

But hell I got as result

all nonsense

(this poem might appear sense less but this was wat i could write.
becoz rit now concentrating on one thing is just nt possible 4 me
and her thoughts keep cuming back
nd im tired of keeping them away
help me sum1 )


i luv u
and why do i do ?
i don't know
i just hate the way i care 4 u

time is not helping me
aur kare bhi wo kyun ??
mein hi lagaye baitha hun
dil se teri photo ko

i luv u mare than i wish
and i hate u more than i think
and when i remember u
it is futile thoughts that stinks

sisakte surroundings mein khoj raha hun mein khud ko
aur pehchan kaise karunga mein meri
ooops
mere pas abhi bhi hai ek photo teri

present

What has happened???
Why cant I breathe???
Is the o2 level low???
or more of it I need??

Why am I living like this??
Moreover, what am I living with???
A burdened core
I a state where mind says something and dil says kuch aur

Stuck with inconsistent goals
Aur meri life ekdum bore
I used to believe I could do something.
But already hundreds are being killed
So… is there a need for more???

I am not normal, I know
I feel confined
Unable to control the boiling blood
Myself, my life I wanted to redefine

So what was that I needed???
Friends, family, love, or care???
Useless words
May be I needed to evolve
To a state where new necessity emerge
Real ones, so no above and below all

I died a virtual death
But, what all is this I m saying
Kya lagta hai bakwas
But le raha tha akaar
Hidden from all
A group of like-minded people
ANTIM SANSKAR

So now I m different
As I have always been
I choose to be an antim.sapien
Unlike the presents beings
I live in the time I am
The future is the same like it has always been
But probably a pleasant one
Unseen

still no frnds

Skin puffed by the vapors of blood
I’m loosing heat
As my temperature is rising
And I can’t do any thing except to see them condense
On low lying mud

I tried to control it
But whatever I do changes state
Its because of the sins I committed
Or just the eights fate

Choked by the vapors, relation, rules
My soul will get over it?
In case I die

Confused to the deepest core
The environment around me
Real or really fake?
Am I unconscious or just the oxygen’s declining rate?
Whatever I fell, still I cannot sleep
I got to stay awake

burnt life

A man is burning all the time

Using air, staying alive

A man is burning all the time

Particles in and particles out

More energy to scream and shout

Into the lungs and pumped through the pipe

Throughout the body to decay and die

Forgetting, unaware, laughing and learning

Enjoying the stay while everyone else is burning

Fire here and fire there but not a spark to be felt

Fire fire all around but not a heart will melt

Using others gaining heights

To burn more they try

More sufferings, more oxidation and heart beats with better rate

Burning flashing and gazing till every unit evaporates

Till nothing is left behind to burn

Till it's late

Till anyone one has a reason to hate

Till it's late

i got to stay awake

right kind of weather
garnished with absence of moon
peace flowing in air and nothing except the stars to stare
defying definition of beauty
time appears to have stopped

I wish it to be like this always
tired body forces me to get lost
in the concentrated world of memories not so good nor too bad
still they make me sad
and to enjoy this stillness I need to stay awake
to stay concentrated on nothing inside me

soon the sun will arrive
dragging me out of this virtual world
to show me the hate around me
when pinching bright light
keeps everything else out of focus

still love you
constantly denying this fact
but place for you
undisturbed still intact
many times I tried to fill the gap
resulting in nonsense
Forcing me to sleep and feel sad

shez the one

Seated in front of me
I love her color
The clothes in which she is wrapped
and little thick her bra strap

her hair not so shiny
but long
I like how she fools the teacher
pretending to be listening
when she is talking since long

constantly looking to her side
I don’t know what she wants
I know her state of mind
by the leaning head of hers on one side
and the smile which she wears long and wide

as lecture finishes she is happy to be free
like a bird tender and fragile
what she is she is happy to be