in love.......................again!!!!

“Still waiting for you”
I used to say
Even when I never meant it
To make you realize I still stay

I wanted you to feel what I felt
the Guilt of atrocious crime
the Fear of unknown
the Pain I used to feel
And others, to you still not known

Suffocated I was
And wanted you to be killed by same
I wanted you to crave for fresh air whose sign on my nature still remain

My life was filled with smokes and alcohol
Quantities I never cared about
They helped me or the feelings against me ?
Is the question still in doubt

Now that I’m in love again
What to stay to her question still remains
This time my feelings not loosely held
Because of the suffocation I felt

Afraid of the past and now of future
Somebody please help
I don’t want to loose my life evolved from crap
And now I think back on the track

addictive killing smokes

Standing by your friend
And sharing is taught
I took it otherwise and shared the smoke

Small white sleek stick
Cannot be of much harm
Can it disturb my life?
So calm
Whatever it may be no one is to blame
Its my own life and its responsibility I claim
So just for the sheer taste

I took it in haste

The experience was the worst of all kind
I choked... and explained it as first time
That was the death's trick of showing the way
And I was following my friend right away

To show him I’m not weak
I puffed once more
Trying to feel, the feel all adore

(after a month)

Still addiction no where to be seen
I started to smoke on whatever day that had been
Tension was the excuse sometimes
othertimes that was any that rhymes

(a month to die )

Smoke's slave soon I became
Although I knew it
I smoked once more to push the fucking thoughts away

Smoke preferred over smoke is an idea insane
But now to live without it is to die
So let it remain

infinite!

Struggle to live
Struggle for life
Toil for money

Strangled in the infinite threads of struggle
Bear the pain for more
Life isn’t the way
Death is not either, they say

Exhausted by the struggle to survive
Monstrous pain makes it bitter
No better than the hell, my life
Then also to live, I choose
Because to die for only this is a lame excuse

It would be the same after death
But the game would be lost
And losing isn’t my style
I’m a Libran after all!

i cannot share the pain

Killing him was not so fine!
as He was a good frnd of mine
but I could not see him suffer
and killing him made me a bit tougher

I don’t like to share pain
And that’s how "killings" I explain
Many more I have to kill
Therefore living still
as Many are more still alive
who are Living a miserable life

One more reason on which killing is based
Is the blood’s taste
for it a life is worth to waste
They call me a killer But I cannot see the pain
After I cut his hand to taste the refreshing bloody rain
Therefore I killed him

Can you now feel the pain in your head?
By the time I will die you too will be dead
as your life too is in pain
Since you are my frnd I am killing you without any gain