near death experience

As i was standing here

Though iam fullt covered

I can feel the air inside me

Pls sm1 save me from parv

I dont want to die

Then parv me once in his lifetime asked

He asked me to dissolve inside the nicotine filled core

I felt peace

Away frm wrld

I felt like there is nothing

I didtnt want parv to be like this

I allowed him to die

I forced him to be dead

I wasnt thinking anything

I just felt like i have a purpose

That has beem fulfilled

When i felt like nthing

And parv was feeling nthing

I was luking down

Telling my self it was nthing

Just a matter or seconds

i would be dead

i will be meeting the ultimate consciousness after that

The it all just finished

Now iam here

Just luking forward to mans need

Just eating

That wasnt i was meant to be

That is not what i can see

past experiences

As i turn the fan

I smell the smoke of cigg 3 days back

I know what u know no bdy does

Is unknown to human kinds

i owe u an apology

I showed u these things

I made u hear pain

and this our last day together

Is not as it should have been

a wrong decision

After dragging the soul out

I tried to cover the void

But that can’t covered or healed

The wound will remain open

For everybody to see

That I’m the one who traded his soul

I’m the one who traded his soul for nicotine and alcohol

And I’m the one with no soul inside me

 

Still unknown to me is

Why couldn’t I just trade my feelings for the same?

Maybe I was thinking I can change this time

I was dreaming of light

But now with everything shared

I’ll have to live with no soul and this wound always paining inside

 

i shouldn’t have just shared it,

I should have given it time and smokes to dissolve

I should have known by now that

I have a mouth to speak

I have ears to hear

And I have eyes to see

But there isn’t anything for sharing inside me

 

This place says nothing

Listens nothing

But can read

And is the second best friend I have

This is the place I can’t leave

part of my life now

and now there is guilt inside me

I shared it with you and not this place

And now it is written with ink for years to come

And for everybody to see

The Proposal

 

Dopamine, I’m tired of it

Self-produced

I hate the process and the result

I hate what it is doing to me

and I hate to see what I have become

now I’m dependent on it

on its source

and I will get over it

but the process will take time

and will surely ask for nicotine in return

hard as it is, is my life

(this is)/you-r making it worse

because I know

trying to control this dopamine’s source

will kill it ones for all